Letter 2. [2.11.2009]

Dear Hailee, I can hardly believe that today you are 1 year old. It seems as though it was just yesterday that the nurse placed you in my arms and congratulated me and your Daddy. We invited your family, your friend Mia & god parents to a party at the park. You looked so beautiful in your pink and white dress. I remember working so hard with your birthday cup cakes hardly any of them got eaten hehe. Actually mummy was in hospital up until a day or 2 before your birthday party..I almost missed it. But I could never EVER miss your birthday!! I remember how tiny you were. I had baby dolls that were bigger than you. You fit just perfectly in my arms, though, and I know that you were always meant to be mine. For the last year, I have watched you learn and grow every day. At 1 year old, you are still my little peanut. You blow me away. You love your bath!! you hate to get your hands dirty. You are not that into animals..even stuffed one hehe. I remember your Nanny Dennison tried to give you a teddy bear you screamed haha. I am so thankful to be your Mummy. I am truly blessed beyond words. I love you, Bug-A-Lug. I hope you grow up strong knowing that I will always be here for you. Mummy <3.

your first letter. [19th January 2008]

Dear Hailee, This letter has a very important date. The 19th of January was actually the due date I had with you. It's also two days after you come home. I want to start writing you letters so that when you grow up and have a family of your own you can share them. Let me start by telling you how much I have grown in love with you in these past few months. From the time Daddy and I found out we were going to have you was hard. I was sick, just let me say I would not change one single thing!!. Squishy (your nick name while you where in my belly), everyday you are teaching me how to be a mother, and a better human being. There are certain moments that keep flashing back in my mind every time I talk about you. My first memory, the first time I laid eyes on you when the doctor laid you on my belly after your delivery, and you were so tiny and still. Daddy and all the doctors and nurses and I where all silent, waiting to hear your first cry. It seemed like a lifetime went by. Finally after a few minutes you opened up your mouth, took a deep breath in and made the world stand still while you let everyone know you had arrived. In that moment I was praying that you would be ok, I was laughing and crying at the same time!! I was lost in that moment and all I wanted was to cuddle you and kiss you. But due you being eleven weeks early (29 weeks). The doctors had to take you away into the special part of the hospital to help you, you could not breath on your own and needed a special tube to help you. My second memory, the nurses allowed me to go into the special unit of the hospital called the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU for short), I was wheeled in on the bed. They opened up the crib and laid you next to me. I could not believe how tiny you looked! I remember my first words I whispered you to "I love you baby girl and always will". I went back up stairs to see the family who had come in just after your birth. I told them "her nose is so big". They all laughed. My third memory, we had to come up with a name for you. I wanted to name you after your great grand mother Margaret Joan. But Daddy was not to keen on Isabella Joan. The name he had come up fir you was Samantha Jade. I did not like it. I even had the rest of the family telling us what names they liked. I had loved the name Hailee Nicole since I was about 18 weeks pregnant. I told Daddy that, that is the one we should go with. I took you into my arms and for the first time and I finally felt like a real mother, you where finally in my arms properly after 24 hour. I looked deep into your eyes and knew we had picked the right name for you. My fourth memory would have to be the day you came home. I was so nervous and scared. I had never been alone with you before and was petrified I would do something wrong. But I am glad your Daddy was there to reassure me that I was going to be a good Mummy. Did you know that if you had waited ten more days you would have his birthday. I think that has to be the best birthday present ever!. We found out we where pregnant with you on Mothers day1 THat day will forever be imprinted on my brain, it has to be the greatest day to find out you are going to be a family. My poor baby, you have been through so much in such a short amount of time. But until the second letter, stay as cute as you are! We will always love you because you are our child, not because of what you do. Being your parent has been one of the greatest gifts in my life. Mummy!

Hailee's 1st Birthday

I was just looking through the millions of photos of Hailee and guess what.I can only find 4 of her birthday... hehe.

Anyway here they are:

Singing Happy Birthday.

Family Photo Time.
(including her cupcakes cake.. i made 87 of them)

Another Family photo.

Nanny Dennison holding a tired Hailee.

It was a beautiful day. I almost missed it actually because I was stuck in hospital after I had a UTI. I begged and begged to leave because I didn't want to miss her 1st birthday and guess what, the nurses and doctors said to me "it's ok if you miss it, she is to young to know, so she wont miss you!" how dare they say that to a new mother?! that remark just made me more determand to get out and be there.

Nothing/No One will come between me and my daughter!!!

new baby on the block

she's not exactly new but I thought I would start with baby photo's then catch you all upto what our big girl looks like now :)

As most of you read in her birth story Hailee was born 11 weeks early and had to spend quite a while in NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit), here are just a FEW photo's of what what life's like inside that place...

15 minutes old

2 days old.

6 days old

8 days old.

cuddles with mum.

20 days old. 8hrs off CPAP.

Hailee 1 month old. First Family Pic.

40 days old. last day in ICU.

54 days old. Mum had flash on hence look on face.

christmas morning 08.


annnd lastly...

going home!!!.


hope you enjoyed the montage of Hailee Nicole :)